When the period of mourning was over, David sent for her and brought her to the palace, and she became one of his wives. Then she gave birth to a son. But the Lord was displeased with what David had done.
2Samuel 11:27 NLT
I twist my fingers as I wait for him to call us in. Actually, his sister. He thinks she is waiting to see him. The secretary looks at me gravely. She knows that I am not supposed to be here. I know that too, but I also know better than to leave things the way they are. We are both suffering. She speaks into the phone. She waves us in warily. I hope she still has a job after this. When we go in, I hide behind his sister. Coward that I am. He is not stupid, so I figure he already knows. He looks agitated. Surprisingly I am calm. I am so calm, it is scary. His sister still stays between us. She is unsure. She looks at me as if to check that I am still sane. I am. I take a deep breath and move towards the seat on the other side of his desk. I wave as if to invite him to his seat. Ironical, isn’t it? His sister looks from him to me. I nod that it is okay. She lets herself out. I turn to face him. My voice is small as I begin to speak.
‘We need to talk.’ I look everywhere else but at him. What would I find in his eyes? I examine my fingers intently. He clears his throat.
I try to open my mouth. My voice cracks. I try again.
‘I am sorry. I am. Really. I was hurt. And, I didn’t really mean all those things. I just wanted to lash out at something’ I look up then. ‘Or someone.’ I continue, ‘I just want you to know that I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I can’t take them back. I want you to know that I wish you lots of love and happiness and laughter and everything good. I don’t regret ever meeting you. I don’t wish I never met you. I don’t curse the day I met you. You deserve happiness and laughter and love. And I- I – I w-w-w –‘ My shoulders begin to shake as I shed tears uncontrollably. He gets up and come towards me. Then stops abruptly, and hands me his hanky.
‘Thank you.’ I blow my nose noisily. He returns to his seat, and our eyes meet. In the few minutes that we maintain eye contact, I see that his eyes mirror the melancholy and frustration in mine. Maybe, some months back, I would have gloated. But today, it just makes me sad. My shoulders slump and I find myself reaching out for his hands.
‘I want you to be happy.’
He definitely didn’t expect that. He looks puzzled for a bit. I conclude that I have done my best. I push back my chair and start to get up. I walk with as much dignity as my wobbly legs permit to the door. Then he lets out a loud ‘Wait!’. I stop abruptly. He says it again softly. ‘Wait, please’. I turn around and shift from foot to foot as he walks towards me. He says it so softly that I almost miss it.
‘Run away with me.’