RUN AWAY WITH ME

 When the period of mourning was over, David sent for her and brought her to the palace, and she became one of his wives. Then she gave birth to a son. But the Lord was displeased with what David had done.

2Samuel 11:27 NLT

Source: Maribuca.com

I twist my fingers as I wait for him to call us in. Actually, his sister. He thinks she is waiting to see him. The secretary looks at me gravely. She knows that I am not supposed to be here. I know that too, but I also know better than to leave things the way they are. We are both suffering. She speaks into the phone. She waves us in warily. I hope she still has a job after this. When we go in, I hide behind his sister. Coward that I am. He is not stupid, so I figure he already knows. He looks agitated. Surprisingly I am calm. I am so calm, it is scary. His sister still stays between us. She is unsure. She looks at me as if to check that I am still sane. I am. I take a deep breath and move towards the seat on the other side of his desk. I wave as if to invite him to his seat. Ironical, isn’t it? His sister looks from him to me. I nod that it is okay. She lets herself out. I turn to face him. My voice is small as I begin to speak.

‘We need to talk.’ I look everywhere else but at him. What would I find in his eyes? I examine my fingers intently. He clears his throat.

I try to open my mouth. My voice cracks. I try again.

‘I am sorry. I am. Really. I was hurt. And, I didn’t really mean all those things. I just wanted to lash out at something’ I look up then. ‘Or someone.’ I continue, ‘I just want you to know that I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I can’t take them back. I want you to know that I wish you lots of love and happiness and laughter and everything good. I don’t regret ever meeting you. I don’t wish I never met you. I don’t curse the day I met you. You deserve happiness and laughter and love. And I- I – I w-w-w –‘ My shoulders begin to shake as I shed tears uncontrollably. He gets up and come towards me. Then stops abruptly, and hands me his hanky.

‘Thank you.’ I blow my nose noisily. He returns to his seat, and our eyes meet. In the few minutes that we maintain eye contact, I see that his eyes mirror the melancholy and frustration in mine. Maybe, some months back, I would have gloated. But today, it just makes me sad. My shoulders slump and I find myself reaching out for his hands.

‘I want you to be happy.’

He definitely didn’t expect that. He looks puzzled for a bit. I conclude that I have done my best. I push back my chair and start to get up. I walk with as much dignity as my wobbly legs permit to the door. Then he lets out a loud ‘Wait!’. I stop abruptly. He says it again softly. ‘Wait, please’. I turn around and shift from foot to foot as he walks towards me. He says it so softly that I almost miss it.

‘Run away with me.’